Fly Racing...

So today, whilst nonchalantly sipping my instant coffee (only the best for me) and watching my dog lick the last of my cereal milk from the bowl (which eventually ended up almost under the couch), I noticed several flies on the window.

Since we leave the doors open for the pets, flies are not an uncommon occurrence in the house—at any given time, we probably have 2-3 hanging around, pissing off the dogs that are too lazy/too scared to work their way around the cats to eat them. These flies, however, were different.

Three small, determined little bastards seemed to be in a race to get to the top of the window. Not sure why, but they're not at the top of the evolutionary food chain for a reason, now aren't they? Anyways, seeing as how I've working in the horse racing industry for entirely too long, I started narrating their race, adding little names to them as they scuttled.

“It's Fly Me to the Moon in the lead, followed closely by Free Flyin' and Flyin' High bringing up the rear—Free Flyin' is closing the gap and might just catch up—OH NO! Free Flyin' has fallen off the fucking window and hit the sill behind the couch! Fly Me to the Moon seems to have taken a break and is resting—this could cost him dearly in the last leg. Flyin' High has forgotten where he's going, and—yes folks, he appears to be wandering SIDEWAYS on the track! Free Flyin' is still trying desperately to get back in the game, but he can't seem to figure out how to get out from between the window and the couch! He's jumping, he's flyin', but he keeps hitting the window and OOOH NOOO he's down again! Now it's between Fly Me to the Moon and Flyin' High, he's going, going, goooone! Folks for the third consecutive time, Fly Me to the Moon has won the Window Cup!”

I probably spent a good 10 minutes doing this....this is why I shouldn't be left to my own devices when I am in possession of caffiene.