So today, whilst nonchalantly sipping
my instant coffee (only the best for me) and watching my dog lick the
last of my cereal milk from the bowl (which eventually ended up
almost under the couch), I noticed several flies on the window.
Since we leave the doors open for the
pets, flies are not an uncommon occurrence in the house—at any
given time, we probably have 2-3 hanging around, pissing off the dogs
that are too lazy/too scared to work their way around the cats to eat
them. These flies, however, were different.
Three small, determined little bastards
seemed to be in a race to get to the top of the window. Not sure why,
but they're not at the top of the evolutionary food chain for a
reason, now aren't they? Anyways, seeing as how I've working in the
horse racing industry for entirely too long, I started narrating
their race, adding little names to them as they scuttled.
“It's Fly Me to the Moon in the lead,
followed closely by Free Flyin' and Flyin' High bringing up the
rear—Free Flyin' is closing the gap and might just catch up—OH
NO! Free Flyin' has fallen off the fucking window and hit the sill
behind the couch! Fly Me to the Moon seems to have taken a break and
is resting—this could cost him dearly in the last leg. Flyin' High
has forgotten where he's going, and—yes folks, he appears to be
wandering SIDEWAYS on the track! Free Flyin' is still trying
desperately to get back in the game, but he can't seem to figure out
how to get out from between the window and the couch! He's jumping,
he's flyin', but he keeps hitting the window and OOOH NOOO he's down
again! Now it's between Fly Me to the Moon and Flyin' High, he's
going, going, goooone! Folks for the third consecutive time, Fly Me
to the Moon has won the Window Cup!”
I probably spent a good 10 minutes doing
this....this is why I shouldn't be left to my own devices when I am in possession of caffiene.