Baby Cage

Today I read a few snippets in between calls of an awesome blog called Asshole Baby. This blog--while obviously about a loving father and his adventures in the hell fire that is fatherhood--is chock-full of reasons exactly why I am NOT ready to be a mother. Babies poop. They pee everywhere. They eat things. Lots of non-food things. They're a lot like my dog, actually, only they shed slightly less and you can't throw them in the kennel for several hours while you get shit faced off Long Islands and vodka Red Bulls run to the store for a few emergency items. Well...not unless you hook up a pretty sweet baby cage. Throw some blankets in there, one of those little water bottles they hang in hamster cages, only fill it with milk...*shakes self* No! Bad! No baby cage!

This is why I can't be a parent. Pity my animals.