Merry Christmas, Guys.

And always keep the holiday spirit...

Hunter Davis

On Monday, October 20th, at 10:55 PM, the world got a little bit darker. 

Nicholas “Hunter” Davis passed away from complications from glioblastoma, a brain tumor that had plagued him for over 3 years. Author, music hound, wanderer, companion, lover, dreamer, spiritualist and seeker of the unknown—a few words from the volume that describe this great man.

Hunter would give you the shirt off his back, even though it was his last one, and fraying at the seams. He would flip back his hair, whistle a tune—slapping his thigh to the beat you would never recognize— take instant mashed potatoes (probably the only thing he had left in the pantry) and turn them into a culinary, gut-bombing masterpiece for you two to share. You would always get the larger half.


As with all dreamers, sometimes you would have to reel Hunter in. Anyone who knew Hunter was familiar with his penchant for getting stranded in Portland late at night—too busy catching up with friends and exploring downtown to bother with things like public transportation schedules. He was never without a place to sleep, though—the circle of people who loved him and offered him their couches for the night were outnumbered only by those who would themselves be out and about, exploring the city with him.


Husband, son, brother, friend – Hunter was one of those people that you never forget—even if only met in passing. His death has affected us all more than we would like to admit, and are each working hard to remember him for who he was, and who we will see again someday.



"You feel, nothing ever stays the same as it was
You'll take, no more remedies to force yourself true
You say, every motion and fall fail you too
This song is not about you
The life that stands without you
Your body and blood
Your body and blood
You're leaving us all."
-Black Rebel Motorcycle Club “Head Up High”

We Know God

People in this country know God.

They Know what he wants, they Know what he doesn't want, and they Know where he lives.

They Know that He wants their basketball teams to win. He wants their daughters to make prom queen. He wants their marriages to succeed and their temptations to fail.

They Know that He doesn't want passion for anything but Him. They know he is a jealous God who does not care for rival lusts and desires. They know he does noy want us to have tattoos or piercings, for those are for heathens and the despairing sons of Cain. They know that--while He does want love to exist--it should only exist in very limited, very contextually relevant circumstances.

They know that He lives in the hearts of the most pious, and repels Himself from the damned and unholy-if-not-well-intentioned. They know He lives among us yet above us, aloof but succumbing to the wants and needs and whines of man. They know He lives solely to serve us and to allow us to pass judgement on the weak.

The people here live in God's country, and I pity Him for that.

Why I Hate Books

I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with literature, and actual, physical books in general.

Ever since I was little, the book store was simultaneously the best and worst place in the world. You don't set a diabetic fat kid loose in a candy store, and you don't let me loose in a book store. First of all, I'll spend ALL my money. All of it. Secondly, it's a maddening experience for me. The choices whisper at me from row upon row of thick, heavy paper and flimsy paperback bindings. The books leer down at me in an arrogance unrivaled in my mind--knowing I would sooner go insane than know the piece I bought was the right one, that there was not a better one--more--out there for me.

When you finally make your decision--when you finally adopt your paper and ink child--you (hopefully and dismally) become absorbed in the piece. You adopt the writer's profile, their thoughts, their way of life and speech. You struggle to not speak in the voice of the tweaked teenager in Shirley Jackson's We Have Always Lived In The Castle, you concoct clever yet simple plans and dream of stars alive a la Tristran Thorn from Gaiman's Stardust (and cringe each. And every time. You read his name). 

They become a part of you, you know. Whether you like it or not, people are capable of osmosis. Whatever you read, you become. Forget what you eat--or, rather, you eat books. At least I do. Sometimes they're dry, sometimes unpleasant, but more often, they are savory and exciting, dancing in the mind like citrus on the tongue. The best ones linger, singing your thoughts like the Ghost pepper. You wash it down with glass upon glass of milk, page upon page of some softer, less grabbing material, but the burn stays, sometimes scarring your very way of thinking forever. There is nothing you can do to escape this fantastic experience, save possibly shutting yourself off from the written word entirely--and what kind of an individual would do that?

And that, is why I hate books.

I'm really just not feeling very loved or appreciated right now

And I think I'm not quite sure how to handle that. Not an uncommon feeling in my life, by any means, but still an unpleasant one.

I'm not sure how to handle that.

Pervading the darkest corners of my mind at night when I can't sleep.

I find myself always scanning that horizon for the mountain. Even if I don't see it, sub-consciously, the search is there. Passively active, if that makes sense.

I find myself reflecting on the things I've done. Choices I've made. People I've loved, lost, and love still, despite their many flaws. Not that I'm exactly innocent of any crime.

I'm teaching myself to grow past that. To grow past them. Listening to the songs I associate with them the most, re-visiting places that had long since become impregnated with the worst of memories: a dark heavy sludge coating every street corner, spreading from the darkest corners of my mind and eroding the most optimistic ones. It is slow work. Never finished.

Maybe some day I'll finally catch up.

11 Movies That Don't Get Their Due

Ah, movies...Them “movin’ pictures” have certainly taken over every aspect of our lives—influencing the way we dress, walk, talk, and even think. While some may have fall to the wayside, gone and probably forgotten, others are lifted up and showered with undeserved hard-earned Oscars *coughGravitycoughcough*.

A few, though, fall into this weird little niche that is neither here nor there—the awkward, semi-palpable void of the cinematic world, if you will. These films each possess their own unique attributes and should hold a place in every movie-buffs’ collection, but for some reason, don’t. Allow me to lecture you on the poor choices the general public has made thus far…

11.       Mystery Men (1999)

Cast: Ben Stiller, Hank Azaria, William H. Macy, Janeane Garofalo, Kel Mitchell, Paul Reubens, Wes Studi, Greg Kinnear, Geoffrey Rush, Eddie Izzard, Tom Waits, Claire Forlani, Ceelo Green, Dane Cook

Recently, comic book titan Stan Lee made nerd headlines by denouncing the lack of “ugly” superheroes, and--unfortunately--the over-paid, over-hyped octogenarian is completely right. In a culture so completely overly-saturated with Iron Spider men and Dark Super Knight Xaviers, it would be nice to occasionally see a take on the shitty heroes, the D-listers--the ones not even good enough to make second (or third) string.

This film is exactly that. 

The costumes, the one-liners, the Eddie Izzard—but whenever I mention this film to someone, it’s always “Oh, but that's so bad! It’s such a shitty superhero movie!” Well, yeah, shit wads, that’s kind of the point. The father of two with a pot belly in place of a chiseled jaw, the bowling champion who bickers with her dead father about attending grad school—that’s what makes this film so great. There actually has some outstanding actors in it, too (want a mind fuck? Go watch Geoffrey Rush’s performance in Quills and then watch this). Yep, if you want a break from the tsunami of Marvel-DC crap, you’ve got to give this movie a try.

22.       Alien Vs Predator

Cast: Sanaa Lathan, Raoul Bova, Alien, Predator

Alien purists will hate me for this one, but fuck off 'cause I don't care. Anything with Alien (except for Resurrection) I totally geek out over, and this movie is no exception. I’ve always preferred Alien over Predator, and I love getting into debates with people over who really won the battle at the end. Really, the only reason they even have meat-bags in this film at all is just to add a bit of relatability to the film—basically just cannon fodder—skeet targets for the two real stars of the show. Moral of the story is, watch the movie for the AvP showdown, not because you’re really expecting an Oscar-winning performance. There’s a reason they didn’t spend any money on the casting.

3.       Sucker Punch (2011)

Cast: A bunch of people you’ve never heard of who were cast because they’re pretty. Also, Carla Gugino.

So many people—let me repeat that—so many people hate this film, and I think I know why. But, the thing is, they haven’t realized what makes this film so great. Wanna know it’s secret?

It’s a live-action anime.

While it’s not actually based on any anime I’ve ever scene (see what I did there?), stop for a minute and try to wrap your tiny brain around it. Beautiful women with bizarre power-ups and revealing outfits that find themselves in out-of-this-world situations who strip tease their way to freedom.

You don’t watch this movie for the plot, and you certainly don’t watch this movie for the acting. Just stop that right now. Just stop it. You watch it for the shiny. You watch it to see a little blonde schoolgirl trapped in an insane asylum fight off three, three-story tall stone samurai with a katana and a pistol. You watch it to bask in the glow of a mind-blowing soundtrack, including the best remake of “Go Ask Alice” that's ever graced these perfectly-sculpted, doubly-pierced ears (well...one hold grew back together...giggity). You go to see a B-25 Mitchell with Vanessa Hudgens inside it shooting a Browning M2HB at a giant fucking dragon. You go to see zombie steampunk Nazis being shot up by a giant bunny mech-suit. THAT’S why you go see this film, and THAT’S why it kicks ass.

44.       League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)

Cast: Sean Connery, Stuart Townsend, some other guys

Captain Nemo, the Hulk, Bella Swan and every American action hero EVER save the world from World War II machines designed solely for the destruction of mankind! Sunday Sunday Sunday!

That is basically this film.

Although they do kind of butcher some of literatures’ greatest characters in this film (the Mina Harker in this movie clearly read a different Dracula than I did), it is worth the watch for the joy of seeing these characters brought together into the same story line. Be honest: most of the reason why you loved The Avengers was because you got to see all those superheroes team up to participate in a battle of Brobdingnagian (look it up) proportions. Also: Robert Downey, Jr. Speaking of the Avengers…

55.       The Avengers (1998)

Cast: Ralph Fiennes, Uma Thurman, Sean Connery, Jim Broadbent, Eddie Izzard

No, not that one. The other one. The one with Uma Thurman (did you even read the cast list?). This movie came out when I was a kid and was still impressed with things like giant plastic bubbles you can walk in while crossing a lake. Well, okay...maybe I’m still impressed by those kinds of things.  Who wouldn’t? It’s a giant. Fucking. Bubble. And you can use it to walk on water. It’s a win-win here, people.

Anyways…

This film is delightfully campy and explosion-y, combining British spies with Uma Thurman and Sean Connery dressed as a weather-wizard teddy bear that wants to take over the world. Sean Connery is—basically—a furry in this flick. Also: Voldemort in a bowler.

6

6.       Waterworld

Cast: Kevin Costner, Jeanne Triplehorn

When I was a kid, I always used to confuse this movie with Battlefield Earth, which I have actually never seen. I don't know, I also used to confuse Jim Carey with Drew Carey, and Julia Roberts with Sandra Bullock. Whatever. One of the few Kevin Costner movies actually worth watching (seriously, why is The Postman a thing?), it presents an interesting take on the whole post-apocalyptic world scenario: the polar ice caps have melted, and the few survivors sail between floating towns, bartering for supplies and salvaging whatever they can. For some reason, this poor kid some cruel parent named “Enola” is sporting a wicked back tattoo that will lead the last survivors to dry land, and adventure ensues.

Movies like this are pretty hit-or-miss, but, even though it stars one of Hollywood's biggest, most boring douchebags, it’s entertaining and unique, without sporting his usual Dances with Wolves banality.

77.       Mom & Dad Save the World (1992)

Cast: Teri Garr, Jeffrey Jones, Jon Lovitz, Wallace Shawn, Eric Idle, Kathy Ireland

Please tell me you’ve seen this movie and love it. 
Please. 
Heard of it? 

Not even once? Ugh, how disappointing, and we were getting to be such friends.

In a tongue-in-cheek, Married with Children meets Space Balls style, the plot follows a set of middle-aged suburbanite parents who get abducted in their station wagon so Emperor Todd Spango (Lovitz) can wed the lovely Marge (Garr). Unfortunately, the planet is filled with idiots, carnivorous, sewer-dwelling mushrooms and Kathy Ireland.

“Today Marge Nelson, becomes Marge Spango! And all across the planet, our hearts will do the tangooooo!”

I blame this movie for my hilarious, genius sense of humor that most people don’t often get but give me weird looks for.

Really though, this is an awesome film, and if you see it and hate it…well, I guess we just can’t be friends anymore. Also, I might have to put a hit out on you. So sad.

88.       Planet Terror (2007)

 Cast: Rose McGowan, Quentin Tarantino, Josh Brolin, Bruce Willis, Fergie

When this movie hit theaters as a double feature with Tarantino’s Death Proof, all I heard about was how much better Death Proof was, how Planet Terror was the weaker of the two films, how I shouldn't masturbate in a public theater. When I finally watched the two back-to-back, though, all I could think about was how much more I enjoyed Planet Terror.

While Tarantino’s Death Proof sports his classic long-winded, (at times) engrossing dialogue and gruesomely raw violence, Robert Rodriguez’s Planet Terror is unabashedly old-school.  A chick with a machine gun for a leg who leads a group of refugees out of a zombie-filled land and into safety?  Yes, please, I’ll take two. Plus, who could really hate any movie with Bruce Willis—like, ever? He even made Friends fun. Throw in a crashing helicopter that decapitates herds of mouth-breathing zombies with its’ blades, and you’ve got yourself an instant classic that can withstand any cameo-infused movie Tarantino forces himself into.

99.       9

Cast: Elijah Wood, Christopher Plummer, Martrin Landau, John C. Reilly, Jennifer Connelly

No, that’s not a typo. Putting 9 as number nine on this list was a complete (happy) accident. Then I kept it in there as I edited it because I was pleased with myself.

It seems to me that this film kind of came and went, and it’s a shame, because it was so beautifully done. A Little Big Planet Sackboy-esque doll wakes up in a post-apocalyptic future and attempts to save mankind.

The story itself is alright, but the real genius behind the piece comes from its’ Borrowers-esque use of small, everyday objects to create an entire microcosmic world that the viewer can easily identify with. It’s also fairly creepy in a Bioshock sort of way, and some of the monsters are just downright disturbing—like the robotic cat with a feline skull and glowing red eyes.

110.   Drop Dead Fred

Cast: Phoebe Cates, Rik Mayall, Marsha Mason (I didn’t recognize any of the names, either)

This was probably one of the most disturbing and most enjoyed films of my childhood—right up there next to that one scene from The Neverending Story with Atreyu and the wolf that I could never skip past because VHS tapes either skipped ahead too fast or not fast enough. You’d have to have lived in a closet your entire life not to know about this warped little bauble, and maybe it’s better if you did.

The story follows a young woman who has an imaginary friend from her childhood pop back into her life as she struggles to deal with her control-freak mother and womanizing husband. It’s every bit as bizarre as it has potential to be, and I still get weirded out when I think of Fred’s head getting caught in the fridge when someone closes the door. 

111.   Coraline

Cast: Dakota Fanning, Teri Hatcher, Keith David

Aw man, this movie you guys—you guys, this movie. It’s almost impossible for me to rave too much about it, but allow me to try:

How this movie was ever classified as a “children’s film,” I will never know. The movie was created by Laika, a Portland-based company that employs seemingly awesome individuals that you spend three hours talking to in a coffee shop who then never call you back even though things seemed to go so well? 

But I digress. 

Over the course of eighteen months, Laika produced the longest stop-motion film to date, with songs written by They Might Be Giants and ever-so-carefully crafted to be just as creepy as (in)humanly possible.

The plot follows Coraline, a mouthy little twat voiced by Dakota Fanning (enough said) who moves from Colorado to Ashland, Oregon. To be fair, I’d be pretty upset if I had to live in Ashland, too. The blue-haired child manages to find a secret, parallel world where people have buttons for eyes. Coraline is an extremely odd child and is not perturbed by this. Children are creepy as fuck. Anyways, as can be expected, things go awry and she ends up fighting for her familys’ life against the terrifying and only slightly caricatured Teri Hatcher.

The art in this film is reminiscent of Tim Burton’s earlier stuff, but much more detailed and with a refreshing twist of color contrast that he always seems to avoid. It is also rather reminiscent of Stephen King’s IT, in that it deals with children literally fighting demons their older, more “adult” companions seem to have little to no idea of whatsoever. Bonus: there are dancing, trumpet-playing rats and Scottie dogs with little angel outfits.

Regardless of your opinion of this not-so-brief (I like to ramble), definitely not-so-complete (I don't ramble well) list, I think one thing we can all agree on is that there are way too many movies out there that fall into cinematic obscurity, forever doomed to never receive the proper credit and passion they are owed. These films will be constantly lurking in the bargain bin section of the electronics stores, or pitifully sulking at the bottom of the “most downloaded” lists. So let's go watch some bad tv.