Monday, May 26, 2014

Pervading the darkest corners of my mind at night when I can't sleep.

I find myself always scanning that horizon for the mountain. Even if I don't see it, sub-consciously, the search is there. Passively active, if that makes sense.

I find myself reflecting on the things I've done. Choices I've made. People I've loved, lost, and love still, despite their many flaws. Not that I'm exactly innocent of any crime.

I'm teaching myself to grow past that. To grow past them. Listening to the songs I associate with them the most, re-visiting places that had long since become impregnated with the worst of memories: a dark heavy sludge coating every street corner, spreading from the darkest corners of my mind and eroding the most optimistic ones. It is slow work. Never finished.

Maybe some day I'll finally catch up.